Can I move away with my kids during a divorce?
Can I move away with my kids during divorce?
Moving with your kids before you have a custody order in place is legal. You can move anywhere (even to another state) and take your kids. You don't need your spouse's permission.
Moving with your kids after you file for divorce is also legal unless the court makes "temporary orders" that restrict your ability to move.
But just because it's legal to move doesn't always mean it's a good idea. There are risks to moving without first getting your spouse's or the court's permission.
Caution: If you’re in an abusive relationship and you need to move for safety reasons, the information on this page might not apply to you. For advice on moving and other tips for leaving an abusive relationship, visit this page instead.
Risks of moving without permission
Just because it's legal to move, doesn't mean it's a good idea. If you move without getting permission from the other parent or a court, there are risks:
- Losing custody of your kids. Moving without the other parent's approval can hurt your chances of getting custody. Most judges think kids are better off when they see both parents regularly. If you move against your spouse’s wishes, a judge could give them custody and not you.
- Having to move back. If your spouse doesn't want you to move with the kids, but you do it anyway, your spouse can ask the court to make you bring your kids back. If you want to stay with your kids, you must move back too.
- Dealing with a long-distance divorce. If you move to a new state, you may have to deal with a divorce from far away. You usually can't file for divorce or custody in a new state until you've lived there for a while (every state has its own residency rules). So, if your spouse files for divorce after you leave, you'll be stuck dealing with a divorce in the state you left.
Tips for a successful move
If you want to move, talk to your spouse first to see if they'll agree to let you move with your kids.
If your spouse agrees
Write your agreement down on paper and have your spouse sign and date the agreement. If possible, have a witness, like a relative or friend, present when your spouse signs the agreement.
If you have time, make your agreement legally binding by following these steps:
- Write it down on court forms
- Have your spouse sign the forms
- File the forms with the court
- Wait for a judge to approve your forms to make your agreement official
You can get free help finding court forms and filling them out by contacting your local family law facilitator. Or you can hire a divorce attorney to prepare the forms for you.
If your spouse doesn't agree
You can ask the court to let you move with your kids by following these steps:
- Fill out court forms (the exact forms will vary depending on where you are at in your case)
- File the forms with the court
- Give your spouse a copy of the forms
- Wait to see if your spouse will object to your forms
- Have a court hearing (if your spouse does object)
- Wait for a decision from a judge
This process of getting a court’s permission to move can take several weeks to several months, depending on the country and your spouse's response.
You can get free help with these steps by contacting your local family law facilitator. Or you can hire a divorce attorney to help you.
Moving in an emergency
It's not always possible to get permission from your spouse or the court before you move. For example, maybe you're being evicted and need to move back home. Or perhaps it's unsafe for you to live near your spouse after separating.
A divorce judge will usually understand if you need to move in an emergency. There are situations where moving without permission can be a good choice.
If you need to move because of domestic violence, refer to this article on ending an abusive relationship for more help. You may also want to consider applying for a restraining order. A restraining order can make moving away and taking your kids with you easier. Learn more about restraining orders on this page.
Author: Oregon Law Help
